It's already Wednesday! I have had a tough couple of days lately -- must be the rain. But whatever the reason, I've been spending a lot of time lately on the pity pot. Someone close to me mentioned that with nearly 16 months sobriety, I should be over the "Poor me" stage, and I shouldn't be craving. Is that true? Am I a remedial drunk, falling behind in my sobriety development? Are there special AA classes for those of us who can't keep up with the rest of AA? It's probably the fault of that new federal law, "No Drunk Left Behind," which states that by 2012 all recovering alcoholics will have met the standard of 100 percent serenity and constant joy.
At this rate, I'd take 50 percent serenity and occasional joy. But I did see a rainbow this morning, and I wasn't hungover, so I could appreciate it. That's got to be worth something.
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I don't mean to poo poo on someone else's opinion, but the way you phrased it, they seemed to say YOU weren't living up to THEIR standard. Your truth is your truth, and you are where you are. If you are sober today, you have won for today, and who can ask for more than that? The serenity you have earned (note that you have earned it, IMO it's not a gift since it wasn't given to you, you had to work for it) is probably more then you had 18 months ago, and that is worth everything, don't you think?
ReplyDeleteI agree with Todd. It was their truth and judgementalism. (Is that a word?)
ReplyDeleteMore rain. More time alone indoors with my own running conversations. Not a good recipe for avoiding the pity pot or in my case, not worrying. I have to keep pulling myself into the present whether I am folding laundry (which I no longer have to do drunk! yay!), filling the bird feeders, or avoiding the kitchen. When I can appreciate the chores I am accomplishing and the fact that I am alive and well and at peace in my space, then I can get off the pot and keep out the worries.
ReplyDeleteHave you read Wherever You Go There You Are?
Susan H.